Dear Netflix

Dear Netflix,

We need to talk. I want you to know that I still love you, but we need to talk.

You see, I thought you were different. I thought you knew me. The times we’ve shared; all those movies we’ve watched and those shows that we’ve binged on. You got so good at knowing me that you would even suggest things you thought I’d like. And you weren’t always right, but that’s okay. You’re trying and I appreciate that.

The problem comes from that email you sent me last weekend. You said you had a new movie for us to watch. You said I’d love it. I was curious. I opened the email. Maybe things would have been better for us if I had never done that. I had just smiled and thanked you and moved on. It would have disappeared into the endless churn of emails coming and going.

But I didn’t. I opened it. I don’t even know if you’re sorry.

You said we should watch The Interview together. Is this ringing a bell? The news James Franco movie?

What did I do that made you think this was appropriate? That this was something I was waiting for in my life. I just, I thought you were different.

You know I don’t particularly like Franco’s humor. I know, I know, once we almost finished Pineapple Express. But we didn’t finish it. I turned it off. I get it. I know why people like Franco, that’s fine. I even like Seth Rogan.

This just, you know, I’ve been burned before. I remember Cable and its insistence that I would enjoy all sorts of things. It was always trying to sell something. You promised me that wouldn’t happen anymore. And I trusted you.

Did I make a mistake Netflix?

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